As he often does when Ocean Shores gets in a lather about something-or-other, Tome O’Scanlinn called from the dark, cold depths of Atlantis City to coyote-howl, “That’s nothing compared to what we got going on over here!”
Atlantis City, of course, is a cursed, quasi-island anchored 18.333
miles from Ocean Shores, due west as the duck flies. As the locals over there say, “If something can go wrong in Atlantis City, it will – twice!”
O’Scanlinn crowed that, just like Ocean Shores, Atlantis City used to be flush with money, until the local government started spending it on who-knows-what. And, just like Ocean Shores, Atlantis City found itself busted like a Ray Charles song. “Until they came up with this ambulance utility thing, just like you critters did,” Tome laughed. But it was a sad laugh, the kind of laugh you laugh when your face hurts from fake-smiling.
“Once they figured out this utility game,” O’Scanlinn said, with a sigh that would depress the Dalai Lama, “it was like giving the liquour store keys to the town drunks.
“Or, better put, the keys to the back door.”
Within 18 months, the Senators of Atlantis City had passed the following utilities:
-The Oops Utility: There have been so many mistakes at Atlantis City Hall – failure to file responses to law suits, contracts unread, Continue reading →