Author Archives: Tom "Press" Scanlon
Grand Canyon website: “250 people are rescued from the canyon each year.” I’d like to thank you all for being here. We are laughed at, we’re scorned, mocked … sometimes by the very people sent out to rescue us. But we … Continue reading
Tribune Review review, Sept. 16, 2015: By Tom Scanlon The Steelers dynasty may have found its Homer. Unlike his famous teammates, Rocky Bleier was never an All Pro. Yet he may be a Hall of Fame storyteller, judging by the … Continue reading
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette essay on “R.I.P in Pittsburgh” and comments: By Tom Scanlon By the time you read this, I will probably be dead. No worries, it’s completely my fault, as I engage in extremely risky behavior. I’m not a sky … Continue reading
…Shorty told us he was putting in a hot tub.”
…as the jungles of Sumatra are to the orangutan.” Boris (!) Johnson, mayor of London, radio interview.
In the fall, a last-minute settlement prevented All State’s $35 million lawsuit against the Prescott Valley Event Center (and various connected parties) from going to trial. A curious part of the settlement conditions: All State insisted that the Fain Signature … Continue reading
With gas pumps starting to look like slot machines, in the Prescott area, estimates from $1.60 to $1.90. story
Home sale prices up in all four quad cities – and Obama plan may fuel sales. Story
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
No money? No business plan? No problem! Daily Courier story
No “Amityville Horror” terrorizing or “The Shining” bloodbaths in Prescott, where lodging ghosts seem more ready to charm than harm. Daily Courier story
“Vladimir Putin doesn’t like this trend – not one bit. But Jackie Cole thinks it’s great” Daily Courier story
Threatens executive order. Republicans decry “publicity stunt.” Ted Cruz: “Who does he think he is – Cleavon Little?”
Your contribution of as low as $1 and as high as infinity will help me make society a less annoying place to live.
We must stop this, NOW, before it’s too late!
White House insider says Prez’s “you can keep your doctor under the new plan” quote was “taken out of context. He meant you can always stay on close terms with your doctor — there’s absolutely nothing in the Affordable Care … Continue reading
Snowden: NSA hacking Netflix accounts! (White House denies “any and all knowledge of this or anything else bad”)
German Chancelor Merkel: “I thought something was funny, when I got a documentary on J. Edgar Hoover, instead of ‘The Obama Deception.’” White House denies “any and all knowledge of this or anything else bad.”
Richie Incomprehensible! (Who else?!) He wins a bag of flies . . . and tearing the wings of them will give him hours of fun! . . . More on the “All-Punk Team” later.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000231848/article/antonio-smith-swings-helmet-at-richie-incognito Proceeds of sales for research on a cure for meatheaditis.
Pouncey to co-star . . . if he can stay out of jail.
a) Extended Happy Hour b) Casual Friday c) “Twates” (Twitter Dating) d) Medical Marijuana To Treat Colds (“Stone a Cold, Tweak a Fever”) e) Unattended Kids Running and Screaming Through Stores
Federal agents, similar to Air Marshals, to enforce new anti-bullying, sexual harassment etc. regulations.
Pussy Riot in turn stages protest concerts, pledging “we won’t stop playing in churches until he takes off our T-shirt!”
Outdoor rallies across Midwest, claiming “extreme cold temperatures disprove — again — the Global Warming Obamamyth!” Rallies deemed a success, though dozens of Tea Partiers taken to ER’s for pneumonia and flu-like syndromes.
Presidential announcement coming soon: “Anyone who makes a Black Friday purchase of insurance on the ACA exchange will receive, in addition to deep discounts on excellent plans, two free co-pays.”