Future home of…The Immaculate Jagoffs of Pittsburgh

Things to do . . . before I go bankrupt:

10) Already did a Sewer LID and Street LID — how about an Air LID?

9) Build a new Police Station that’s twice as big as the Fire Station.

8) Pay the computer consultant guy to do “preventative maintenance” not just on every computer, but every copy machine, cell phone, coffee machine and desk lamp.

7) Quietly bring back Surf Rescue under “Double Secret Overtime.”

6) Instead of just laptops, update communication in OSPD vehicles with these. Continue reading →

The following was found in a leather jacket donated to an auction in Beverly Hills. It is believed to be a “Bucket List” written by a Hollywood stunt man.

Things To Do Before I “Clock Out”:

10) Wrestling an alligator. Blind-folded. (me, not the gator)

9) Flying over the Grand Canyon in a hot air balloon with a leak.

8) Driving a Maserati 120 mph down the freeway. In reverse.

7) Ride a scooter around Sturgis yelling “Harleys are for woosies” until someone starts chasing me. Continue reading →

The following rolled-up paper was found in the back of a dresser sold at Aberdeen’s No. 1 Pawn Shop:

Before I die, I want to:

10) Shake hands with someone who shook hands with someone famous

9) See that 3D movie about skydiving

8) Eat something “exotic,” like vegetarian Continue reading →

From Jen Hough:

Photo and narrative by J. Smersh: “Today was just one of those Ocean Shores kind of days. It started with brutal cold, hail, and snow and then ended with clear skies and wonderfully spring-like weather. As a result, I was able to snap this late afternoon moonrise photo looking out over over Grays Harbor.”

Remember the late, great, often-irate George Donahoe? I stopped in to see the long-time Ocean Shores businessman and city critic not long before his death in January of 2012. I told him I heard O.S. had hired an outside sales rep for the Convention Center, which I figured would make him happy, as he had been lobbying for this for years. Instead, he slammed a folder of something down on his desk and got red in the face. “Why are they paying a salary?” he demanded. “That position should be COMMISSION ONLY! You don’t sell, you don’t eat!”

Hmmmmm . . .

Local taxes have jumped some 40 percent in the last five years, councils have passed Street LID and ambulance utility add-ons, employee salaries are shooting up like shuttle launches, the Convention Center can’t seem to get any new business and has accelerating bond payments looming, citizens feel City Hall won’t listen to them, minutes and other record keeping by some boards and commissions are a sad joke . . . Yes, the man-made government of Ocean Shores is  slow-motion train wreck the keeps happening again and gain. And yet . . . Ocean Shores remains Nature at its finest. Its hard to match the beauty of the deer, the snowy owls, the eagles, the awesome ocean and, as these J. Smersh photos show, the awe-inspiring Weatherwax:

When you look at the details on North Beach School District, you realize it may serve a large portion of economically disadvantaged youth, but the district itself is far from “poor.” So, if a plea posted at the Facebook site North Beach Classifieds (it’s a “closed group,” you have to ask to be a member — kind of like an Internet speakeasy) is accurate, it makes one ponder, “How are they spending money, over at the district?” Here is the post by someone who says he is a student:

J. Smersh photo:

This morning, CBS News played some wonderful video imagery (incredible close-ups) of “the Snowy Owls of Ocean Shores.” Click here to watch.

From Damon Point, brought to you by Tim Moon:

Nice visuals to take a break from the back-and-forth venom in the comments section, these two rainbow shots from J Smersh:

From Jen Hough:

There is a “study session” on “ethics” in Ocean Shores today .  . .

*What are the “ethics” of the mayor — who has taken it upon herself to be the city’s (i.e., taxpayers’) labor negotiations representative — being “Facebook friends” with a union representative?

*What are the “ethics” of the mayor not recusing herself from negotiations with the “Exempt Employees” group, even though she regularly meets to strategize on a number of issues with the public safety chief and finance director, two of the Exempts?

*What are the “ethics” of the City of Ocean Shores having an ad on the website of the Daily World — which, presumably, is providing impartial coverage of the city?

*What are the “ethics” of the library hiring as a highly-paid computer consultant the Continue reading →

By J Smersh, one of the big whites hanging out at (of course) Damon Point — or should we call it “Snowy Point”?

Up close and personal:

Long shot:

From J. Smersh:

Vote for your favorite 289 cliche:

a) “If you don’t like it, move!”

b) “The tax/levy/lid lift increase only costs as much as a latte a month”

c) “It wasn’t us – the mistakes were made in the past!”

d) “We’ve cut all the fat, there’s nothing left to cut!”

e) “He’s just stirring up the pot again!”

f) other (please specify)

Gary Iversen, our man on the dock, strikes again for another Duck Lake beauty:

“If the Pope can do it, why not Me?”

So said God, in an exclusive interview with Beyond Locals Only in which he confirmed rumors that have been swirling around the clouds: After creating and ruling over the universe for eons, he is retiring.

Excerpts of the interview transcript:

Beyond Locals Only: Mr. God, why now, after all these years?

God: Well, I would say, “It’s time” – but then again, I’m timeless. So let’s just say I feel like it. I had a thought, and when I have a thought, it becomes reality.

BLO: You’ve done great work, few would deny that. But there are those who say You’ve lost a step – Your thunder isn’t as loud as it used to be, there hasn’t been a plague in who-knows-how-long, and even Holy Wars seem to be a thing of the past. Your response?

G: True, maybe I have mellowed a little, as the years have gone by. But I can still rear back and bring it, when I want to. To my critics, I have one word: Katrina. Continue reading →

From J. Smersh, taken this afternoon near the marina:

Taken by Jen Hough:

From Tim Moon, who notes, “Attached pics of snowy owl taken Friday afternoon about 3:30. He was just off the beach in the dunes behind the Snuggler’s Cove Resort cabins on Marine View Drive (next to the Shrimp Boat Deli). Saw him and got the pics as I was coming back from a walk on the beach with the dog. Never go on the beach without the camera – you never know what you might miss. First time I’ve seen one of the snowy owls in this area.”

“Your unions over there in Ocean Shores don’t hold a candle – or even a flashlight – to our labor boosters!”

That was Tome O’Scanlinn, sounding two (maybe even three) sheets to the wind as he crowed out his usual one-upsmanship, proclaiming how much more whacked-out his Atlantis City is than Ocean Shores.

As soon as I hit the “post” button on a recent blog entry about how Ocean Shores employees get paid, I knew I’d hear it from him.

“Sure,” he snorted, “you guys pay out big fat ‘longevity bonuses’ for everyone who hasn’t been stupid enough to get fired and the clock seems to start running on vacation time before someone’s job interview is over. But that’s nothin’ compared to what we got goin’ on over here, I tell you it’s nothin’!”

Believe it or not (I choose the latter), my man Tome says the Atlantis City Senators all got re-elected by proclaiming they were “cutting all city salaries down to minimum wage.”

Some were stunned that the town’s powerful union,  IAFF (International Association of Feared F- Continue reading →