According to unconfirmed reports, dozens — and possibly scores — of applicants for the so-called “Obamacare” health-care reform are becoming so frustrated by applications that suddenly delete, options that take forever to show up and other problems with crashing Affordable Health Care websites that they are suffering heart attacks at their computers. Tea Party officials are pointing to the “Obamacardiac Arrest” epidemic as another reason to crash the entire system.

Meantime, administration officials remain skeptical of these unconfirmed reports, suggesting Tea Party propaganda. One official, speaking on condition of anonymity, told a reporter that he had heard the Tea Party was setting up ailing, elderly folks in front of computers, clicking on healthcare.gov and “just waiting for them to die. This is the most heartless, cynical strategy the world has ever seen. Ever.”